Copyright © 2011 Jaideep Ranade

Osama bin Laden was originally a U.S. Citizen, born Oscar. B. Lacey, from the suburbs of Washington D.C, trained in various military schools. He was taught bomb-making, Arabic, torture-techniques, leadership skills, how to control itching of a terribly long and dirty beard, how to keep multiple wives (that’s why he was so thin and stressed out, no doubt) etc. He was then sent off to the Middle East with the specific purpose of heading Al Qaeda and to later destroy WTC so that U.S of A could get a foothold into the oil-rich country of Iraq. And when finally his job was done, he was taken out by U.S. Navy SEALS to erase any evidence of his origins. That was when Oscar, a.k.a Osama, learned a final, valuable lesson: “Beauty isn’t everything. Get fatter wives to stop the bullets!”